New Year and New Beginnings

Have you ever made a humdinger of a mistake and then spent days beating yourself up for it? If so, join the club. I've spent many hours since mid-week pummeling myself for making a human misstep. I can tell YOU how you must "beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself," but when I am dealing with me, well it's a whole other story. Even people involved in this whopper of a misjudgment tell me to "stop" and yet I carry on as though God has appointed me judge and jury and a hanging judge at that.

Recently I had a revelation of what God's love for me truly is... how deep, how wide, and how unconditional. You might ask, well, why then can't you let yourself off the hook? He has surely forgiven you. My revelation went something like this... someone was asking me what they did that made me love them so much. My response to that person was, "you don't have to do anything, all you have to do is be who you are." Gestalt!  The light goes on in my head. I've been seeking a revelation of God's love and how much He loves His children, me in this instance. There it was.... I don't have to earn that love and I don't have to DO anything, just be who I am. Just be, just be me. There are no footnotes that indicate I must meet certain criteria for God to love me. After all He made me who I am. He knows who I am, and rebelliousness and all, He still loves ME.

So how do I apply this revelation to the situation which has had me in a tailspin all week? First of all, God knew before I did this thing that I was going to do it. He knew that people were going to get hurt, people would misunderstand and most of all that I was going to get out my beating stick and open a can of whup (you know what) on myself. STOP..... Selah as the Bible so aptly puts it.

Get a little perspective here. Take a couple steps back and listen to what others are telling you." (Says me to myself.) And so I have listened to the kind words and the good encouragement of my friends and just now I read another blog and it gave me the final piece to the puzzle. To Anita, I say thank you for this. I am waiting to see the picture more clearly and I am in forgiveness mode.

Katie